With Mother's Day this weekend, I have been thinking about a couple of close friends with very different family situations than mine. One friend has not received the love and acceptance she deserves from her mother and the other one did not receive it. In the insightful book The Gift of the Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent, Ph.D., the authors discuss parental love and acceptance (and the lack thereof), which they refer to as "the blessing." In the Old Testament, parents bestowing the blessing on their children was an extremely important event. The authors contend the relationship elements of the blessing remain relevant to the present time. The Gift of the Blessing lists helpful steps to aid those in need of healing who have not received the blessing and details how we can provide the blessing to our families and others.
One friend of mine "Amanda" left a job so she could be the main care giver for her mother who was dying of cancer. To the end, her mother remained unkind to her. The mother's attitude toward Amanda even negatively influenced her father, two brothers, and two sisters and still persists to this day, many years after her mother's death. A sentence from The Gift of the Blessing reads: "Yet effort doesn't always equal a desired response." In any situation, we are only responsible for our efforts, not the end result that we cannot control. According to Hebrews 12:14 we are to make every effort to live in peace with all men. Ephesians 6:13 NIV tells us ". . . and after you have done everything, to stand" [firm in the faith].
Pam King, wife of evangelist Jim King, believes all women are born with a God given "mother instinct." She believes the enemy comes to steal the natural ability to love, nurture, and care for a child from mothers who abuse or abandon their children. John 10:10 NIV says: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy."
Though the experiences of my friends have been extremely hurtful, these mighty women of valor derive their self-worth from the Lord and look to Him for the unwavering, eternal blessing that He provides. Isaiah 49:15-16 NIV states: "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands. . . "
This post is linked to Spiritual Sundays at http://bloggerspirit.blogspot.com/
I hate to see people suffer so deeply because of the rejection from parents! I truly can't comprehend rejecting a child but then again having done as much work within myself I know the wounds we receive are bestowed upon us because our parents are even more wounded therefore they cannot give love of any kind let alone unconditional love.
ReplyDeleteBless your friends heart! They are so blessed to have you as their friend!
Have a beautiful weekend!
This is so sad. I can see how this would be so devastating to a women, not having that loving nurturing feeling from a mom. I have never really be close to my mom but I know that she loves me and she would do anything in this world for me.I hope that you have a wonderful mothers day.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Ginger
the hardest, toughest thing is to expereince the unkindness and even hatred from a parent. I think when a parent does that to their own child...it says more about who they are than who that child is. And I'm thankful that He can heal those places of pain from rejection. Have a great weekend. Sarah
ReplyDeleteThis is a good post because it is so true. I think we all know someone who has had a hurtful relationship with their mother, and many of them love her and honor her just the same. Great is their reward! The good news in all this is that Christ Jesus can bring healing to relationships. We need to pray for broken families.
ReplyDeleteI am blessed to have been nurtured and loved by my mother. Sadly, many have not knon the love of a mother, or like your friend, faced unkindness.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good post, as Whidbey Woman said, it is sadly true.
Hope you have a Happy Mother's Day.
Mother's day is filled with such emotion...What a blessing these women's testimony is. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there are many things sadder than being rejected by your mother. My heart goes out to everyone in that situation.
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's day.
Charlotte
There is nothing like rejection from a mother ~it wounds deeply. Hopefully they have found others who will love them, and especially the love of our Lord. May God's healing touch bring them peace.
ReplyDeletewww.myautumnyears.blogspot.com
This is so sad! I am so thankful for the incredible husband and children the Lord has blessed me with. He has more than made up for the loneliness I sometimes feel when it comes to the lack of relationship I have with my own mother. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you a wonderful Mothers Day weekend.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Sandi
It's good to share these stories...There is so much sadness in the world and yet, we can focus on His love. We need to focus on that...
ReplyDeleteI was blessed to have a very loving mother. Yet, my father left when I was very young so I missed out on him until I found him again as an adult..
"What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and GRIEFS to bear, what a priviledge to carry, everthing to Him in prayer. God Bless all today.
Thank you for reminding me of that great book. I have it here in my home somewhere and I plan to reread it after reading your post.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is so important that our children know they have our blessing.
And rich blessings to you,
Dianne
I have that book and have not read it...but have read some of their other titles. I am going to read it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reminding us of the blessing we all deserve.
Happy Mothers Day
How sad to live without the love and acceptance of your mother. The love we give our children is so important but as you pointed out not as important as the love they receive from God.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. So very true. Children need their parents' acceptance.
ReplyDeleteGreat insightful Post !
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
~Myrna
Hi Busy, Single Mom!
ReplyDeleteI have been so busy with work and life that I haven't spent much time on the blog lately. This is an awesome post and I cannot agree more of the importance of a mother's love. When my girls were little I read tons of books on nurturing and caring for children. The one thing I will never forget Dobson writing in one of his books is that a baby will literally die if it is not nutured with touch and love. I might have overcompensated with my own girls...I loved and hugged on them all the time! :) But that is a strong statement and after reading that, I never underestimated my role and career as a mother again. My heart goes out to people that have been deprived of this blessing. Praise God that he can restore love and beauty in the hearts to the one affected by this!
I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day!!!!
Love, Carolyn ~ Cottage Sunshine